by Dianne May, president & CEO
One of my favorite authors, Louise Penny, recently wrote this: “my books, while clearly and happily [are] murder mysteries [they] are really about duality. The gap between what is said and what is felt. The public face and the inner truth.”
The gap between what is said and what is felt. How often have you felt trapped in that place? Wanting to have an honest and authentic conversation with someone, but worried about how he or she might react. It’s scary to set aside social conventions and expectations in order to share deeply personal thoughts and feelings. What if the listener is uncomfortable? What if I can’t find the words I need?
Maybe you’ve been the person waiting for another to open up and share. You sense there is more to be said, but you don’t want to force your loved one to talk if she is not ready. The truth is she might be waiting for a sign from you that it is okay to share her feelings.
Some people need time to prepare for conversations and some need only the right time or place. Humor might make it easier for him to start a conversation. And a simple question might provide the right opening for her. However we find the way to traverse the gap between our public faces and inner truths, sharing our true feelings with people whom we love and who love us, is a good thing. Is there a gap you want to cross?
Donna doesn’t remember what day it was when the doctor said, “you’re cancer-free.” But her husband Tom does and every year on that day he tells her how much he loves and appreciates her.
Mark had a birthday party when he turned 11, but it was the “No More Chemo” party later that year that he really remembers.
Mary Jo’s surgery was the same day as her daughter’s 21st birthday. Neither of them felt like celebrating, but it was so good to be together that night.
Birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, days of “firsts”—what special days of life do you mark? No one would argue that calendars and dates aren’t important, but we remember our own life’s journey by events and important moments. Sometimes, the moments are painful or scary, like when you or someone you love is diagnosed with cancer. The fear can block out everything around us.
Cancer Services provides a bright spot of hope for people dealing with cancer. Here families find help and understanding. It is an important day when someone comes to Cancer Services. They may need practical supplies and equipment or simply the friendly face of someone who understands. We want to be here every day for people who have cancer.
Please help us spread the word so that no one has to travel this journey alone. You can start by bookmarking this blog and sharing it with others.